From The Depths


Oh crap.
Look who’s “back”.
Just when you thought I’d given up forever. I have submerged from the swamp.

First of all I feel like I should apologize for my sudden and prolonged absence. It seems to be the case that when things are going well, or at least ok, I’m in the mood to blog. But when the shit hits the fan, I tend to clam up. No sense in sharing my crap. At least not while I’m wallowing in it. But since things have been looking up lately, and with a little prodding from a friend, I’m making a comeback.

At first there was the school situation with Big M. He received some impressive awards at his 6th grade graduation and I was so proud of him. But the first 3 months of Jr. High proved to be challenging to say the least. It wasn’t the material so much as it was just turning it in, with his name on it! “If Mr./Mrs/Ms. Teacher doesn’t ask for it…” ARGGGHHH!!!

But the main deal was late last year I was hit with the news that I had gone as far as I could go as a contractor with my current company. And due to their permanent head-count they could not take me as a direct employee. So I was out on my ear right before the holiday break. I knew the risks of taking that job but I needed it to be near my son and it worked out for us at that time. There is always the opportunity to go permanent when you contract out to a company, but it took me a while to figure out that I was working for the aerospace equivalent of Wal-Mart. They would rather train someone new, year after year, than keep someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing. Turns out I had the longest run at that position than any previous contractor. But looking back now, I’m sure that position will be absorbed by our corporate office that has been slowly stealing our department’s responsibilities over the past year.

After that, I guess I fell into a depressive slump after tallying up the events of my life for the past 7 years. I’ve been through…let’s see…an ugly divorce from my best friend, the death of my mom, foreclosure on my house and now, loss of employment. I think I’m being seriously tested.

But I think I’m going to be ok. I came to the realization that I’m free. Free!
Free to re-invent myself. Free to study and finish so many things that I’ve wanted to do.

So I’m thinking…now that I’ve been through the proverbial ringer, things can only get better, right? Right?


Well, one thing is for sure.

I’m no fucking quitter.


February 13, 2009 at 9:23 am 6 comments



Last night’s full moon was known to Native Americans as a Beaver Moon.
Don’t forget to set your beaver traps.

November 13, 2008 at 4:29 pm 3 comments


I can’t believe Halloween is here already. Where the hell did the month go?
So, no trick-or-treaters again this year. *sigh*

Big M is with his mom this weekend, leaving me a free man, so anything is possible. Hopefully some tequila and a last minute Halloween party are involved. I mulled over the costume options and finally came up with the perfect one:

Have a great Halloween y’all!

October 31, 2008 at 4:08 am 5 comments

This Post Has No Title

O-kay! That was the season from Hell. You know the old saying. “All work and no play…”? Well I was one dull bastard there for a while. Thankfully work has slowed to a normal pace and I can get back to my life or what barely qualifies as one.

So I’ve spent the better part of this afternoon trying to catch up with y’all. In doing so I’ve noticed a music meme from Miss Alex going around and although I wasn’t tagged, I’m jumping in on this one because music has always been a huge part of my life.

10 Songs That Evoke Emotion
My answers below

1. A song that brings you back to a happy moment.
Cracklin’ Rose – Neil Diamond

2. A song that feels good when you’re angry.
Faint – Linkin Park

3. A song that makes you feel sad.
Dosed – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Hello, It’s Me – Todd Rundgren

4. A song you have to change every single time it’s on.
You Light Up My Life – Debbie Boone

5. A song you can’t listen to anymore.
Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sooo over played.

6. A song that a commercial ruined for you.
I try to avoid commercials at all costs just for this reason.

7. A song that never gets old.
Imagine – John Lennon

8. A drunk-sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs song.
Bang The Drum All Day – Todd Rundgren

9. A song you’ve had on your MySpace.
Ghost Town – The Specials
Kinda like this blog.

10. A song you’d get made fun of if people knew you liked.
Stoney End – Barbara Streisand
Wedding Bell Blues – The Fifth Dimension
But I wouldn’t care.

October 6, 2008 at 8:35 pm 9 comments

Wake Up!

The past few weeks have been like a blur. I’ve been working 10-12 hours a day for the past couple of months. I used to have every other Friday off. I can’t remember the last Friday I didn’t work. (Today, one of our systems went down and now I have to find something to do to look busy. Hello Blog!) Can’t deny the overtime is a blessing right now. It’s just that lately, when I get home, all I want to do is turn into a vegatable. A cucumber would be nice. A cucumber that takes out the garbage. Hmmm. Where have I heard that before?


School started up again for Big M last week. Moving up to the bigs this year, Jr. High. It boggles my mind how fast he’s growing. Just seems like yesterday I could scoop him up and put him on my shoulders. Not anymore. I miss those days but at the same time it’s awesome to watch him grow and develop into a young man I know I can be proud of. At the same time it’s a bit frightening to let him go and do things on his own. Now he gets himself up, ready and off to school on the bus. The first day he got on the wrong bus coming home and rode it all the way to the end of the line. The driver announced last stop and he got off without a clue as to where he was and nothing looked familiar. Times like this make me glad for cell phones. He sounded scared at first but I told him not to panic and just head for the nearest intersection. He did and found another bus to ride back home. It was all I could do to keep from losing it. There is no worse feeling in the world than knowing your kid is out there, lost somewhere, and you have no idea where. WHEW!


So I finally get some surfing time today and what do I discover? The fucking internet Nazis here at work have blocked some of my peeps. Now I can’t visit MetalMom, Bluepaintred or Nobody or Shelli. Cock blocking sumbitches.
I also have links to fix for those of you that made the switch to WordPress. Since I never used Blogger I’d be interested to know which one you prefer.

And I found this over at Some Guy’s Blog and figured I’d better get started on my retirement plan. Thanks Chris. You rock!

August 20, 2008 at 9:38 pm 15 comments

Bummed Out

I don’t fucking believe it.

A couple of posts back I metioned being on YouTube because of the James Taylor party. Maybe some of you checked out the vids and remeber seeing this guy.

Just found out that he died two nights ago of a heart attack. His name was Dave and he not only organized but hosted the JT party and the Beatles party. I only knew him for a short while but I thought he was an incredibly generous and very cool guy who absolutely loved music. He played in our church band and also in a local cover band.
He had no history of attacks in the past but get this – I found out that he had been complaining of constant heartburn that wouldn’t go away. Despite the urging from his wife to see a doctor, he didn’t. In fact, he performed just last weekend at a party and reportedly had to take several breaks due to feeling fatigued. Such a shame. To have warning signs popping up around you and to do nothing about it, well that just pisses me off.
It just made me realize all over again that life is too short. And we never know when it is our turn to go. But if our body is telling us something is wrong, we damn well better listen to it.
He was a great guy and I’m glad I had the privilege to know and perform with him.
I’m gonna miss you Dave.

August 1, 2008 at 12:24 am 6 comments

Shake It Up

Nothing like a little earthquake to make your day interesting.
Yesterday we had a little shaker here that was just enough to make you wonder, is this the big one?
It happens about every ten years or so and it’s a very strange sensation. At first, with me anyways, I think I hear something. Then I realize that it’s the creaks and squeaks from the building I’m in doing the shimmy-shimmy. Then the floor begins that rolling motion that reminds me of waves on a lake or ocean. That’s about the time I notice the filing cabinets banging against each other and my monitors are swaying back and forth on my desk. And I wait. Waiting to see if I need to dive under my desk. Luckily, I’ve never had to.
I’ve been through at least 3 major quakes and several smaller ones and after a while, you get used to them. Reactions among most of the people who grew up here go like this:
“So, whaddya think? A 4 maybe 5?” (Richter scale measurement)
“Nah, couldn’t been more than a 3”. And then we go back to business as usual.

P.S. I wanted to do this post yesterday, but after being at work for 13 hours I went home and went straight to bed. I don’t think I even turned on any lights when I got home.

July 30, 2008 at 9:30 pm 6 comments

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