In A Mixednut Shell

I know I’ve been neglecting you little blog, but daddy’s home now. 

So much has been going on around here that my head is spinning from trying to keep up. Lots of major changes are approaching and I’m either very excited or very scared.

Some background:  About four years ago my wife and I split after being together for almost 15 years.  We were as tight a couple as you could find and did everything together.  I can’t point the finger and say it was all one person’s fault, I know I’m no angel. But I will say it had a LOT to do with a meth problem.  And I don’t do meth.  So, after a few somewhat violent encounters, I moved out for a short time at her request.  I resisted at first, thinking we could work it out together, but eventually, it became too unbearable to stay.  Several months later, with the beginning of the new school year approaching, I made the hardest decision of my life and filed paperwork to have her, and all twelve or more of her “friends” that were living there, kicked out so my son and I could move back in and try to restore our lives.  I’ll never forget the day that, after a two week warning to either get her “friends” out or leave with them, she told the judge “they have nowhere else to go”.

Since then I’ve tried to keep everything as stable as I could.  Same house, same school, etc. But the burden has become too much for me to bear alone.   I’ve been hoping that his mother would come to her senses and help out a little.  No such luck.  I could tell you horror stories about some of the decisions she’s made since the split, but that’s another post. 

So now, the final push is on to sell the house.  It’s been on the market for almost a year now and I’ve only had one offer (that I agreed to immediately) and that was back in December.  This is THE worst time to have a house on the market in SoCal. Once again, timing is everything. I’ve re-fi’d twice and can’t go any lower.  It’s been tough trying to keep it by myself but it looks like it’s time to move on.       

And this whole business of trying to keep the house spotless 24/7 just in case someone wants to look at it, well I’m just about done with that.  I mean, hello?, we still LIVE here.  Come on in and look around, but if you happen to catch me on laundry day, just picture it without the dirty socks and step over the beer cans.

It’s been a long time since I moved residence and the last time I did, I didn’t have a son to consider. So much to do. I’m a little freaked out, stressed out, and just plain worn out. I’ve been feeling this way for the past several months and somedays are good and other days, I don’t feel like doing shit. Those are usually the weekends that the Punkster’s with his mother or grandparents when she’s incarcerated out of town.

But something strange has also happened within the past few months. An angel appeared. Out of nowhere, and within two weeks after my mom passed away, this angel came to me and has since renewed my spirit in ways I could not even have imagined. The timing, in this case, was perfect and I firmly believe my mom had everything to with it. And it is because this angel is by my side, figuratively speaking, that I know I will make it through whatever curves life is going to throw at me.