In A Mixednut Shell

July 31, 2007 at 10:29 pm 20 comments

I know I’ve been neglecting you little blog, but daddy’s home now. 

So much has been going on around here that my head is spinning from trying to keep up. Lots of major changes are approaching and I’m either very excited or very scared.

Some background:  About four years ago my wife and I split after being together for almost 15 years.  We were as tight a couple as you could find and did everything together.  I can’t point the finger and say it was all one person’s fault, I know I’m no angel. But I will say it had a LOT to do with a meth problem.  And I don’t do meth.  So, after a few somewhat violent encounters, I moved out for a short time at her request.  I resisted at first, thinking we could work it out together, but eventually, it became too unbearable to stay.  Several months later, with the beginning of the new school year approaching, I made the hardest decision of my life and filed paperwork to have her, and all twelve or more of her “friends” that were living there, kicked out so my son and I could move back in and try to restore our lives.  I’ll never forget the day that, after a two week warning to either get her “friends” out or leave with them, she told the judge “they have nowhere else to go”.

Since then I’ve tried to keep everything as stable as I could.  Same house, same school, etc. But the burden has become too much for me to bear alone.   I’ve been hoping that his mother would come to her senses and help out a little.  No such luck.  I could tell you horror stories about some of the decisions she’s made since the split, but that’s another post. 

So now, the final push is on to sell the house.  It’s been on the market for almost a year now and I’ve only had one offer (that I agreed to immediately) and that was back in December.  This is THE worst time to have a house on the market in SoCal. Once again, timing is everything. I’ve re-fi’d twice and can’t go any lower.  It’s been tough trying to keep it by myself but it looks like it’s time to move on.       

And this whole business of trying to keep the house spotless 24/7 just in case someone wants to look at it, well I’m just about done with that.  I mean, hello?, we still LIVE here.  Come on in and look around, but if you happen to catch me on laundry day, just picture it without the dirty socks and step over the beer cans.

It’s been a long time since I moved residence and the last time I did, I didn’t have a son to consider. So much to do. I’m a little freaked out, stressed out, and just plain worn out. I’ve been feeling this way for the past several months and somedays are good and other days, I don’t feel like doing shit. Those are usually the weekends that the Punkster’s with his mother or grandparents when she’s incarcerated out of town.

But something strange has also happened within the past few months. An angel appeared. Out of nowhere, and within two weeks after my mom passed away, this angel came to me and has since renewed my spirit in ways I could not even have imagined. The timing, in this case, was perfect and I firmly believe my mom had everything to with it. And it is because this angel is by my side, figuratively speaking, that I know I will make it through whatever curves life is going to throw at me.

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Summer Time I’m Here

20 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Tug  |  August 1, 2007 at 2:32 am

    Best of luck to you…hang in there! Angels are such wonderful beings, I’m glad that you know you have one.

    Reply
  • 2. teri  |  August 1, 2007 at 2:52 am

    that’s some heavy stuff. I don’t know if I could do it but most folks who are responsible for the kids find a way.

    I think most people who are addicts never fully recover and get clean. Best to make the break, move on and never look back.

    I have a spare room at my house………… : )

    Reply
  • 3. Chris  |  August 1, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    I’m rooting for you, MixedNut. I think you’re due for some good times without a lot of stress. Keep us posted.

    Reply
  • 4. dick small  |  August 2, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    Who’s the angel???? Fill us in.

    Reply
  • 5. dick small  |  August 2, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    You’re moderating comments now??? Damn I’m in trouble..

    Reply
  • 6. Sans Pantaloons  |  August 2, 2007 at 9:33 pm

    More power to your elbow. Wishing you well for the future.

    Reply
  • 7. mixednut  |  August 3, 2007 at 2:40 am

    Tug – Thank you! I’ve never met one before now.

    Teri – I’m being tested for sure.
    Don’t be surprised when we show up on your step.

    Chris – Thanks Dude! I’m so due.

    Dick – I would never moderate your comments. I have no idea why it does that. Really.

    Sans – I am applying more grease in your honor.
    Thank you kind sir.

    Reply
  • 8. Mr. Fabulous  |  August 3, 2007 at 11:43 pm

    That is great, man. I am confident it will all work out for you.

    Reply
  • 9. mixednut  |  August 4, 2007 at 7:18 am

    Fab – Damn, with you behind me…well, …I’m at a loss for words.

    Reply
  • 10. Doctor Mom  |  August 5, 2007 at 1:21 pm

    Hey guy! I remember trying to make it on my own with a little kid… it’s no consolation, but if I can do it, anyone can!!

    I was in a subsidized apartment with my oldest while I was full-time in nursing school trying to make a life for myself outside my relationship to my long-time boyfriend, turned spouse, turned alcoholic.

    You’re doing the right thing. Yes, it’s hard to move a kid out of their home, but he’ll be ok… Home is YOU!!

    Let me know if I help in anyway, like life experience,… or just be here for moral support!

    Reply
  • 11. Amy  |  August 7, 2007 at 5:20 am

    I’m glad you have an angel : ) Don’t worry about your little blog… it will be here, and so will we.

    Good luck!

    P.S. I would always moderate Dick’s comments.

    probably Fab’s, too.

    Reply
  • 12. dick small  |  August 7, 2007 at 2:24 pm

    It’s always about you, Doctor, isn’t it…

    Reply
  • 13. dick small  |  August 7, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    How rude.

    Reply
  • 14. zed  |  August 8, 2007 at 6:11 am

    MN, now I’m really PO’d to not have been around to read what your going through because of my broken computer last week. I’m so sorry for all you’ve had to face, but I think you’ve been showing great strength in getting through it all and doing the best you can for your son in these circumstances. Sounds like you’re a very good dad!

    I believe you’re going to be okay, MixedNut. I’ll be praying and rooting for you in the coming weeks. Best wishes to you and a big hug …

    Please let us know what’s happening, okay?

    Reply
  • 15. dick small  |  August 10, 2007 at 4:40 pm

    I would definitely moderate Fab’s comments also, Amy! There’s just no tellin’ what’s gonna come out of that boy’s mouth..

    Reply
  • 16. teri  |  August 12, 2007 at 2:05 am

    where are you? did you go on vacation and didn’t tell us?

    Reply
  • 17. zed  |  August 14, 2007 at 12:36 am

    MixedNut, just let us know you’re okay … okay? 🙂

    Reply
  • 18. dick small  |  August 14, 2007 at 9:30 am

    ??????

    Reply
  • 19. Doctor Mom  |  August 18, 2007 at 12:31 am

    Just checking in to make sure you’re ok

    We’ll just hang around a while, that is if you don’t mind

    Dick you’re being an ass again

    Reply
  • 20. dick small  |  August 18, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    Neeners!

    Reply

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