Hotter Than Hell

July 10, 2007 at 5:16 am 14 comments


Well now that it has cooled down from 115 plus to a mere 100 I thought I would share this recent e-mail I received with Teri’s sister Prissy in mind. Stay cool.

You know you’re from Arizona if…

1. You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
2. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
3. You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
4. You can listen to the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
5. You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour…and it will be over 100 degrees.
6. You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
7. You can make sun tea instantly.
8. You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
9. The best parking is determined by shade…..not distance.
10. You realize that “Valley Fever” is not a disco dance.
11. Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
12. It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
13. You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
14. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.
15. You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.
16.Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.
Worse…..some fools actually try to jog.
17. You know hot air balloons can’t rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
18. No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.
19. You see two trees fighting over a dog.
20. You can say “Hohokam” and people don’t think you’re laughing funny.
21. You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
22. You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
23. You can understand the reason for a town named “Why”.
24. You can fry an egg on the hood of a car IN THE MORNING!
25. You hear people say “but it’s a DRY heat!”
26. You buy salsa by the gallon.
27. Your Christmas decorations include sand and l00 paper bags.
28. You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
29. All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
30. You think someone wearing oven mitts while driving is clever.
31. Most of the restaurants in town have the first name “El” or “Los.”
32. You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
33. Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
34. Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
35. Most homes have more firearms than people.
36. Kids will ask, “What’s a mosquito?”
37. People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
38. You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.
39. If you haven’t worked for Motorola at some time, you must be a newcomer.
40. You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
41. You can pronounce “Saguaro”, “Tempe”, “San Xavier”, “Canyon de Chelly”, “Mogollon Rim”, and “Cholla”
42. You start sweating profusely after you enter an air conditioned building.
43. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Safe And Sane Beach Trip

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Zed  |  July 10, 2007 at 5:46 am

    Funny list! Some good stuff on there.

    We’ve been experiencing very high temperatures on the east coast as well, but I know as the seasons change it will cool off. But if I lived in Arizona I’d know it will be broiling hot tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after. How do Arizonians do it?

  • 2. teri  |  July 10, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    great list. My mom and sister have lived out in AZ since 1990 so I’ve been out there ALOT.

    Everytime someone says “but it’s a dry heat” I want to slap them. HARD!

    Zed-they make sure they are always in the cool air of a building or car. It’s the only way to survive.

  • 3. Dick Small  |  July 10, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    Try being on a business trip in Phoenix. During rush hour. With no air conditioning. Try that.

  • 4. Dick Small  |  July 10, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    At a standstill. For 45 minutes.

  • 5. teri  |  July 10, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Dick – how did you not have air conditioning? I’m assuming it was a rental and I would assume also, that they would not rent a vehicle to someone without it having air conditioning???

  • 6. Dick Small  |  July 10, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    I didn’t have a/c because it was my own vehicle. An RV. And in Massachusetts you don’t need a/c. Like you do in Phoenix. Apparantly.

  • 7. Dick Small  |  July 10, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    Sucks to be me.

  • 8. mixednut  |  July 10, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    Dick – That sucks. I’ll bet you were just limping along.

  • 9. Dick Small  |  July 10, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    I’m lucky to be ALIVE…

  • 10. teri  |  July 11, 2007 at 1:34 am

    the desert of Arizona is a cruel, cruel place. I’m surprised the coyote’s didn’t get you………

  • 11. Doctor Mom  |  July 11, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    If I ever wonder if I’m in Arizona, I will refer to this long list of clues

    However, I do hear that it is at least dry heat there!

  • 12. Dick Small  |  July 11, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    You better not let Teri see that comment…

  • 13. that girl  |  July 13, 2007 at 3:28 am

    oh come on … it’s not that bad ….

    i can deal with 115 rather than have to deal with hurricanes, earthquakes, typhoons, tornados, floods, snow, tsunamis …cause we don’t have any of those … at least down here in the desert …

  • 14. mixednut  |  July 13, 2007 at 4:38 am

    Earthquakes,… once every 30-40 years or so. No sweat.


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